Life, Love & Luck… By Chance…
Posted by: sbiswas on: May 26, 2009
Who Am I? You sure you wanna know?
The story of my life is not for the faint of the heart.
If somebody said it was a happy little tale.
If somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world.
Then…
Somebody lied…
Spiderman (2002)
Lonely Me... Once Upon a Time...
I was a very lazy teenager. I still am. For me, school exams and studies were a joke. My folks were always mad at me for not scoring well. But I lived a carefree life. No restrictions. No worries. I liked living in the moment, not caring about what the next moment would be like. I never planned anything. Maybe that’s why I grew up.
I had my first girlfriend when I should have been trying to figure out some strange mechanics problems and solve some pathetic hyperbola equations. Whatever that used to mean! She used to be a damn sweet girl and I was smitten with her.
That probably was the most confusing period of my life. I felt like studying arts. People around me felt I was good for technical studies. I actually never thought so. But, as it is said… The confused man always makes the wrong choice. I chose computer science.
Leaving home for the first time and staying all by myself, sandwiched between hills and a rocky river wasn’t exactly what I had planned for my future. The first few weeks were fun. New friends, new things to study, nasty professors, yucky half cooked food… It was all fun then. The bad part wasn’t far away.
I remember getting homesick and somehow getting back to home almost every month. I longed for my warm bed, home cooked food and my mom. And then I didn’t like college because it showed me the truth about life. How much one should expect from someone, how much to trust another human being, how people change with time and place… I hated when I used to realize the facts of life. But then I guess, someday I will be happy that I actually learnt something.
Then Cinderella came back in my life. And I started enjoying those rosy vistas again. I fell in love with TRAI for lowering the call rates. I started to forget that this was not school, and that the course was not child’s play. My performance graph was dipping alarmingly, and I didn’t seem to care. Maybe I was still waiting for the most important lesson of life.
Then Cinderella went away. Leaving me all alone. And I stood among the ruins of my life. Never so broken and shattered…
My semester reports were so bad that I started considering my future. I had no future in technical field. I lost my brand new notebook thanks to a robbery in my room. I had no hope to succeed anywhere in life. I was too tired, emotionally and mentally and probably took the craziest decision in my life. I quit college.
I couldn’t go back home. No. I had committed too many horrendous blunders. After all I was the first college drop out in my family, tracing back to the last century. I went to my uncle’s place in New Delhi. And started to live a carefree life again. Sometimes thinking about my future. About my dreams, and how I had brutally murdered my own future. I thought about different ways of earning money and living by myself. After all I was already 19. Call centre, starting a small business, working in my uncle’s software firm (with the little knowledge I had picked up in college)… I didn’t know what to do. I read about the stock market and thought of making money out of it. Silly me. I was as confused as an eight year old kid in a topless bar.
I learnt something here also. Down the years I had met so many people who used to smile at me with a friendly face. Many of them my friends. Many of them a part of my family. The most painful part of it was hearing them say in a hushed tone… I told you so… I was the topic of so many jokes. I was turned down with hostility by so many people. I started hating life. Was this the real world? Probably yes. And I am happy that I saw it.
I was written off by my near and dear ones. People who used to tell me that I was special and that I was destined to do something different and great… seemed to be big liars to me. I was taunted by my own so called friends. And honestly, I deserved it. Because I never still worked to be anything. One day my mother called me and asked me to just get any degree. Then at least I could land myself with a small time desk job. I agreed with her.
I didn’t study for my entrance exams. Luckily I didn’t do very badly. And Manipal Institute of Communication just happened. Finally, with a new dream in my pocket and images of people sneering at the idea of me going to study somewhere in my head, I reached Manipal.
The city was probably made for people like me. Freedom, Music, Spice, Sea. Ah! I fell in love with the university town of Manipal. My second coming as a college going student started with good friends and lots of alcohol. Sometimes I wondered if I had alcohol running in my veins instead of blood. Not a good thing to do. I know. I reduced the intake quantity and started living a happy life.
Study wasn’t hard at all. I guess I wasn’t bad at English language and my communication skills were not poor. Slowly my professors started to know me and I started to live a less complicated life. But I still lived like a king. Not everyone would take a sea facing hotel room on a 3 day trip to Mumbai for a college fest. I spent like my dad was the richest man on the planet. Slowly I realized how to save money. Very critical, I am still not good at it.
One night while I was sitting staring at the starry sky, I realized something. I realized what I was thinking. I realized what life was all about. I realized that life was about what I want. I understood that understanding and knowing what I want… is life.
I never regret thinking about my past. About the blunders I had committed in life. How I had tried my best to trash my life. I regret nothing. Because it taught me a lot.
I learnt how to be selfless when helping someone. And how to be selfish when working for myself. I had learnt how to live.
The only time I ever thought of all what had happened to me in the roller coaster ride called life, I was sitting relaxed and having the finest French champagne. 35000 feet in the air. Lufthansa. Flying over the magnificent Swiss Alps on the way to Venice, Italy. I had just turned 20.
P.S. – I am having the time of my life. Exploring countries which I had just read of, walking in cities I had only dreamt of.
P.P.S. – Europe is a very exciting place to be in. and when you have a Visa for the whole of Europe… It’s the best thing that can happen to anyone. And I love travelling.
P.P.P.S. – Please do not take any sort of inspiration from my life. I just got lucky. 
The Last Letter
Posted by: sbiswas on: January 21, 2009
- In: Personal
- 5 Comments
And then you mentioned my parents. And mind you, no one ever ‘pleaded’ to you for anything. I know everything. If it hadn’t been me, no one in my family would have ever talked to you. My dad pitied you as a fatherless child and tried to give you his love by giving you my responsibility. He was wrong to trust an unknown girl. But then he relied on my choice.
You had started addressing your mom as my ’sasuma’ and we were busy talking childish stuff like baby names. How much more serious can any relationship get?
Time and again when you referred to me as ‘Janu’, I would squirm with ecstasy. You were my world. My everything.
‘Your friend’ and to some extent your ’so called brother’ were being a nuisance but you termed it as ‘my’ ego. If it was ego, it was my love too. I had never seen you. Maybe I never will. Honestly I had stopped caring about your looks. I still do not want to. The image of the princess in my heart and mind will do.
I quit engineering and went to Delhi. We rarely talked. But when we did, I felt the magic. You said that I had ego. I had never cut off my contact with ‘your friend’. He did. First he was my friend and later someone in love with you. He never saw it that way. He deleted me from his friend list. Not me. He took every opportunity to plant seeds of insecurity and doubt in your mind against me. Whatever I said to you was, supported by you too.
Then Manipal happned. You didn’t care to call on our half-yearly anniversary or even our anniversary. I always tried to make things work. You never even cared a damn about it. Ofcourse, why should you. You had ‘options’ all the time. The tricky and charming girl that you are, most idiots would fall for you.
You made a big issues of my suicide attempt. It was a joke for you. Not for me. You have no one in Manipal who knows me. What happned that night is and will always be skeched on my heart.
One another text msg:-
“Janu agar hum humari zindagi se ruth jayeto humari zindagi kahan reh jaygi. Hum aap se khafa ho sakte hai vala ! Aapto humari zindagiki shan ho:)”
And then you say that ‘we never had a heart to heart relationship’. And ‘I never felt that I was your true love’.
Any guy in his wright mind would never have accepted a girl whom he has never seen. I never made an issue of that matter. And then there were people who tried to make me believe that you were not ‘pure’. I never cared a hang! I never questioned your love. But you did.
You behaved like you were the luckiest girl in the whole world to have me in your life. And bloody me, I believed it!
And you say to people that you never loved me. True. You never did. Atleast you made me feel so many things without even loving me. You are a true genius.
Things pinched me all the time. Your reluctance to talk to me. Not taking a cheap CDMA set. Still , I never questioned you. And whenever I did, it would snowball into you having a fight with me. I didn’t want to fight you.
When you never loved me, what right did you have to make yourself so special for me?
And yes! You are answerable to me. I am not a villain in the movie of my life. This is my life. My movie. You might find it crap, but it isn’t so. I will be back someday to know my answers.
And make no mistake, I will be ’something’ one day. Because everything won’t be decided by you. You decided that we go apart. Now I will decide when and how I come in your life. Life is not getting over. Neither are my feelings going to die. Neither the fire within me is going to burn off.
Remember, I will still be here,
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember, when your dreams have ended,
Time can be transcended,
Just remember me
I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun …
P.S. You don’t deserve it. But. I Love You. And I will never be able to forgive you for this.
Exodus & Evolution in Manipal…
Posted by: sbiswas on: August 7, 2008
- In: College
- 2 Comments
I came to Manipal,
I saw Manipal,
I fell in love with Manipal.
I never came here for the sake of earning name, fame and money. My approach towards life is a bit different… I always plan out well in advance what I want to do, but end up doing what my heart says in an instant. Yes, I live in a ‘fool’s paradise’. And I love it.
Manipal was supposed to happen last year itself. But as it turned out, life had something different in store for me. I dropped the idea of becoming a communication student at the last moment and jumped the bandwagon with my friends and scampered off to the nearest engineering college I felt was far enough from my home. I hated home.
Engineering was not my cup of tea. I knew it long back. Still what propelled me towards wanting to be a computer engineer, still is a mystery to many including me.
After bunking loads of technical data and my dad’s hard earned cash, I decided that it was high time; I start acting like a normal human being and do something which was possible for people of my type.
I had never been to Manipal before. Our ‘Indian Railway’ tickets got washed away (became worthless) with some well-timed, unanticipated rains in Northern India. We flew to Mangalore via Chennai from Kolkata one Sunday morning.
I was happy. My first impression of Manipal was wonderful. It gave me the chance of making my first trip on an aero plane…
It was already pouring cats and dogs when I reached Manipal. The room assigned to me was super! It gave me the impression of being free. At last.
In a couple of days, I was joined by my room-mate and a couple of other friends and we struck off pretty well with each other. Things started moving at a fast pace after college started. I came in contact with some very snobbish, rude, ruthless and depressed personalities. Not that I was not expecting anything of this sort, but that it started making me rather uneasy so early, made me ponder over the authenticity of people joining a communication college and not wanting to interact with each other.
Manipal Institute of Communication (lovingly called MIC) was a cool place to study. The common room, the library, the classrooms… everything seemed rather friendly. Still we had no seenyurs… as of that time, and were pretty high on our testosterones. Enigma, Blue Waters & Sky Lounge happened sooner than it should have been. Malpe beach started to be an everyday hangout.
Suddenly, one day, the calm city of Manipal (as we were all used to its tranquility), burst out with activities. The seniors had returned. Manipal suddenly changed for all of us. Formal dresses, eyes locked on the third button, zero and one degree haircuts, we emerged from our rooms and made a quite queue towards college. Things changed in a couple of days and we became more unperturbed.
Still, the people from our batch were very indifferent, to what they should have been, giving the fact that we were 20 odd guys and around 60 girls… Frankly, a few girls started giving us inferiority complex in a few days. I mean, how you can not notice people at a hand’s distance when they wish you with all the strength of their vocal cords… most of us are still clueless of the special stuff girls are made up of. Guys were no less. Most of us were rather high and mighty. And as usual, I took up the task of bringing some of them down to earth. I was successful in a few odd cases.
Manipal was a dream. And I am living it now hoping it to be happily ever after stuff. Sometimes, a silent prayer goes up from this atheist… God, please help me. I don’t want to screw up this time. I am just hoping to become somebody (believe me, I already am). And as Aristotle had said… hope is a waking dream.
All Smiles & Three Cheers For Manipal!!!
The Untamed Tsunami
Posted by: sbiswas on: July 12, 2008
From the minute you are born, you do not make your own choices. You do not choose your parents, your family, your sex, your zodiac sign, the colour of your skin or the sound of your name. Tragedy can stun us, make us pause, reflect, weep. It can make us feel pounded and battered. As we grapple with the pain of the present, the future can seem as remote and unapproachable as the other end of a destroyed bridge. But tomorrow dawns, bringing with it new hopes, tasks, challenges. We, the living, have a duty to life. We are human, and so we mourn. But the human spirit shines within us, and so we know. That our hearts – and lives – will go on.
The world shook on 26th of December-2004, and this shock kept reverberating for the next few days. South Asia, one of the most sought after tourist destinations in the world came under the hammer of God. Suddenly and sadly, Andaman & Nicobar Islands became world famous. The loss cannot be articulated in figures, words, music, etc…. Not even in feelings. In a sense it is an ineffable loss to mankind. One that even the largest rehabilitation program won’t be able to convalesce.
The questions that usually strike us after such tragedies are to know more about them. Tsunami is a word of Japanese origin meaning ‘harbour waves’. These are generally called tidal waves, though the phrase is a misnomer as it has nothing to do with tides. Tsunamis are generated when ocean floor shifts vertically, usually due to an earthquake. When a shift in the ocean floor displaces the water above, the body of water travels as a huge wave to regain equilibrium. In deep water, a tsunami can travel at 700 km/hr. But in shallow water near coast, it gets slower, and water mass up to 50m. A tsunami can sliver coasts of sand, deracinate trees, swab out towns. Traveling hundreds of meters inland, it can flood coastal towns. Do damage that is immutable.
Imagine floating in the Indian Ocean on a piece of wood for two days. Alone, not eloquent where the waves are taking you, and hoping incessantly for rescue. In a country that has been battered by the nastiest cyclones, floods, earthquakes, air, train and road accidents and intimidation, there are as many stories of lives as there are about deaths. But once the euphoria and media frenzy of the phenomenal escapes end, the healing must begin. This, according to psychiatrists, is the toughest phase – even tougher than floating in the oceans or walking out from a lethal train accident or a bomb blast.
For, in a disaster, be it a fervent Tsunami or a lethal road accident, the survivors are numbered by the passionate ordeal of living through the horrendous event. The wreckage of the episode is often more than they can handle. Having lost their loved ones, chattels and future – the survivors hit a dead end. This was the most thespian seismic shock in more than 40 years. The earth wobbled on its axis and permanently altered the geology of the adjoining areas. To be on the lighter side, it was just like flicking a top.
On the other side of our world, the so called Lost World was almost lost forever. This colossal anthropological catastrophe is feared to have wiped out tribes – already jeopardized by their perilously small numbers – conceivably rendering them extinct and snapping a willowy tie with a lost cohort. Amidst the unremitting surge of tear-jerking, heartrending stories, there are also touching, superhuman tales of the human fortitude shining through. The world amalgamated in the largest-ever relief operation.
Erratic and breathtaking, the ocean has always mesmerized humanity, throwing up inestimable myths and legends. By turns vindictive and benevolent, alluring and petrifying, the oceans have long cast a hex over humans. Many entrancing fables have sprung up around them. Here are some of the most attention-grabbing ones:
NOAH’S ARK: One of the best recognized stories from the Old Testament. Legend has it that God decided to castigate malevolence humanity by wiping it off the earth, but spared one virtuous man, Noah. God told Noah a great flood was coming in seven days and asked him to build an ark, on board which he was to bring his family, and a pair of all animals of the world. The flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights, after which Noah returned to land to give mankind a fresh beginning.
The fact that the tale is a common one through many cultures – there are 80,000 works in 72 languages – suggests that the event may have some historical basis.
MOSES & THE RED SEA: As a baby, Moses was put in a basket and floated down the Nile because the Pharaoh had ordered that all Jewish male children be drowned. He was pulled out by an Egyptian princess and named Moses because he was drawn (mashah) out of the water. Years later, as he led the Jews out of Egypt, the Pharaoh sent an army to carnage them. But Moses struck the Red Sea with his staff, and it parted, allowing him and his people safe passage. As the Egyptians began to cross, Moses stretched out his hand and the sea closed, drowning the Egyptians.
POSEIDON ADVENTURES: Poseidon, the Greek god of the Sea, is one of the six siblings who alienated the clout of the human race. Poseidon not only ruled the sea, he was also the god of earthquakes.
Poseidon was relied upon by sailors for safe voyages. However, he was a morose god, and his temperament could sometimes upshot in aggression. When in a good humor, he created new lands in the water and a tranquil sea. In contrast, when angry, he would wallop the ground with a trident and cause earthquakes, ship-wrecks, and drownings. He is also said to have created the island of Atlantis as an abode for his darling, Cleito.
THE LEGEND OF ATLANTIS: The island-nation of Atlantis is said to have existed over 11,000 years ago, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Apart from being copious in natural assets, it was also a major centre of trade and commerce. Its people were described as erudite, using complex know-how and staggeringly affluent. It is said to have vanished into the sea, due to an earthquake caused by gargantuan submarine explosions, triggering off a massive flood. Though there is no undeviating verification of its existence, it holds great enthrallment for many, including me!!
It’s an aftermath of a different kind. While the islanders spend sleepless nights because the land continues to rock, their mainland counterparts keep fingers crossed against tariff hits. When is it going to be politically correct to tell a joke again, go to a party, and admit you’re enjoying life? Post-disaster, how long should collective bereavement – as a distinct from the individual woe of those who have lost loved ones – lost? A lot of people and establishments, in India and elsewhere, cancelled their New Year eve carousing to show camaraderie with the fatalities. Others decided to go ahead with the revelry, often with the proviso that part of the proceeds would go towards the relief fund: Partying for a good cause. Both views are valid and deserve respect. Debacle creates an aftermath of ethical ambiguity. The preliminary alarm of revulsion gives way to an insidious sense of guilt. Of course, we genuinely grieve for the victims. But at the heart of that empathy there is a small but irrepressible inner voice which says: Thank God it wasn’t me. This is the remorse of the survivors, a poignant foreboding, as it is illogical. That those who have died have somehow died in our stead, by some enigmatic calculus of transience lost their lives so that we may live. Endurance is tinged with shame. That we the living have, after the fact, allowed others to die on our behalf, death by proxy. Guilt sharpens grief, gives it a serrated edge. If we recognize this remorse we jettison it as the specious spectre that is. Thank God it wasn’t me. The thought is as normal and natural as breathing. Or indeed as dying. Where in this is there cause for shame? Or of sorrow for the sake of sorrow.
Reservations In Educational Institutions
Posted by: sbiswas on: July 12, 2008
Stephen Jay Gould once said:-
I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
The criminal neglect of education, in my considered opinion, is the most important charge upon which the policy makers of India stand indicted. An entire generation of Indians have lived and died since independence—a reasonable estimate would place the number around 500 million humans—about half of whom were illiterate, not just uneducated. The lost potential is stupefyingly mind boggling. How many Ramanujans and Einsteins have they condemned to obscurity and waste, how many did not even see the insides of a school or learn to read, write, reason and do arithmetic?
The answer would break the heart of any thinking human being.
Shortages and Nehruvian socialism go hand in hand. Just take scooters, for instance. You could not just take scooters some years ago, actually, thanks to the quota permit license control raj. You had to wait for years before you could lay your hands on one. You could jump the queue if you paid with “hard currency” or paid a premium (black money) to someone who had the foresight to book one years in advance with a view to capture some of the rent that arises out of shortages.
The situation today would have been unthinkable then. Now dealers of two-wheelers practically drag you off the street, give you a cold drink, and by the time you have finished it, they have arranged financing and you roll out the door on your new bike clutching your free gift of a toaster oven. Then your choice was severely limited to four or five models; now a reasonable estimate must be a hundred different makes and models of two-wheelers.
Back to the criminal neglect of education. Not only did they—those who were in charge of Indian policy—not create an educational system that works, they are now busy figuring out a way to sabotage a system that seems to sort of work. I am talking about the recent announced policy of increasing the reservations for scheduled castes and tribes, and for other backward classes (SC/ST, OBC—as they are termed) in the institutes of higher education. My assessment is that it is madness. Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad, observed old Euripides. I worry about the upcoming destruction of the Indian educational system, which if carried out efficiently enough, effectively dooms India.
Reservation in higher education institutions for SC/ST and OBC candidates is idiotic. The better alternative is to help disadvantaged people—those who I label “sufficiently poor”—with resources so that they can afford an education. If that is done, then even the poor will have equal opportunity to be able to compete and find their place in the world. Assuring equality of opportunity is mandated but equality of outcome is not only not mandated but is an objectively silly goal to aim for.
There are disadvantaged groups and many of these groups have been historically discriminated against. An absolutely valid argument can be made that these groups need help to redress past injuries and injustices. The question is not if they have to be helped, but rather how. Are reservations in higher education the way to go? The answer is no if even after securing admission they are ill-prepared to make use of the opportunity.
Many faculty members at IITs have recounted that most quota candidates have to face an uphill struggle and many give up after a few years. It is not that the quota candidates are intrinsically inferior; fact is that they did have the disadvantage of not having had a decent schooling. The only quota candidates that actually do well are those from the upper middle class. One medical college dean revealed that as a last resort, he gets quota students who don’t make the grade to swear that they will not practice medicine and will only take on administrative jobs (and there are job quotas there, too), and only on that condition does he pass them so that they exit the system without loss of face.
Let me once again stress: the children of disadvantaged groups are not naturally incompetent. It is the lack of opportunity in the earlier stages of the educational system that handicaps them in the later stages. The playing field has to be leveled at an earlier stage of the game. The solution therefore is not reservations at the higher education level but assistance at the school level.
The question of why reservation in higher education for disadvantaged groups is irrelevant is plain if you do the arithmetic. Even if you do 100 percent reservation in the elite institutions, at most you will have something of the order of 10,000 seats. This is an insignificant number relative to the total number of students in the disadvantaged groups—which is of the order of tens of millions. Indeed, compared to the potential demand for higher education, the actual supply is laughably insignificant.
The IITs attract 3,00,000 potential students and admit around 5,000. To a first approximation, nobody gets into an IIT. The wide gap between the supply and demand is bridged by a system which has evolved into a grotesque caricature of competition. To enter one of the IITs, there is an exam called the Joint Entrance Exam (JEE). The objective of the exam is not to test whether a student is qualified to study at an IIT but rather to weed out about 98.5 percent of the candidates because the IITs are capacity constrained. This leads to enormous economic loss, and at time loss of human lives.
Let’s dwell on the JEE for a bit. Markets work, as economists are prone to declare at the drop of a hat. Given the supply constraint, the market response is an entire industry which prepares students to do well in the JEE. So there are coaching institutions which charge an arm and a leg to help a student do well in the JEE. It gets surreal when you realize that to get into one of the more successful coaching classes, you have to appear for an admissions test. So, here is the deal: you have to pass an admissions test to get into a coaching class which will prepare you for the JEE so that you can get into an IIT. What next—that there will be second- and third-order coaching classes? That is, you will have to appear for a test to enroll in a class that will help you take the admissions test to get into a coaching class which prepares you to pass the JEE.
Here is the economics of this surreal system: an IIT education is worth, say, Rs 100 lakhs. But the total private cost is only Rs 5 lakhs. So the “profit” is Rs 95 lakhs. So even if you have to pay Rs 5 lakhs to increase your chances of getting into an IIT, it makes sense. That is therefore what the market delivers: high priced coaching classes. About one hundred thousand go to coaching classes and of these about 5,000 make it to the IITs. The 95,000 who don’t make it have to lump it, and some even take the extreme route of killing themselves. Why? They realize that their parents have spent money they could not afford to send them to coaching and they failed their parents.
Let’s take stock. The supply of higher education is severely limited. The reason for this supply limitation I will go into in a bit. The demand is high. The competition for admission leads to economic waste, for starters. Then there is the even more expensive skewing of the objective of the students: they are often not spending time and resources to understand the subject or because they like it, but because they want to do better in the admissions test than their competitors. Instead of producing thinking, cooperating humans, the system forces too many to focus on a narrow objective and to develop a maniacal zeal to study for a test that is more of a test of narrowly defined skills rather than an overall test of fitness to pursue higher studies. This exercise, I am sure, damages many students’ personalities so that they become anti-social and un-cooperative. They become incapable of group cooperation in solving problems. I have met too many IIT graduates who are perfectly dreadful people to hang out with. They are self-absorbed, narrow-minded, money-grubbing uni-dimensional idiots. I should hasten to add that there are notable exceptions to this characterization, of course.
The issue of reservation in higher education is not really complex. It is rather simple if one thinks about it for a while. Einstein observed that the universe is ultimately comprehensible. Compared to that, the economic system of a nation is child’s play. Although apparently confusing, India’s failures are totally comprehensible if one bothers to look at it with some degree of care. Just investigating thoroughly only one aspect of the economy would reveal the fact that ultimately it is the combined result of a small set of conditions. I will explore to its logical conclusion just one simple fact: why is education in India so supply constrained. It will become apparent that there are systemic problems which can be addressed. Like a good detective story, the plot line is simple. The system is the way it is because it leads to gains for those who are in charge. Once we have considered the facts, the solution will be obvious.
For now, here is the hint: barriers to entry. We are the problem, can we be the solution?
Seamless Mobility.
Posted by: sbiswas on: June 16, 2008
The present essay is intended, as far as possible, to give an exact insight into the theory of ‘Seamless Mobility’ to those people who, from a general scientific and philosophical point of view, are interested in the theory, but who are not conversant with the mathematical apparatus of theoretical physics and wireless communications. In the interest of clearness, it appeared to me inevitable that I should repeat myself frequently, without paying the slightest attention to the elegance of the presentation. I adhered scrupulously to the precept that matters of elegance ought to be left to the tailor and to the cobbler. I make no pretence of having withheld from the reader difficulties which are inherent to the subject. On the other hand, I have purposely entreated the empirical physical foundations of the theory in a “step-motherly” fashion, so that readers unfamiliar with mobile telephony may not feel like the wanderer who was unable to see the forest for the trees.
- Snehasis Biswas.
Every new generation of technology challenges our worldview and paradigms. For example, a paradigm shift occurs when people moved from listening to radio to watching TV. Another example is when people went from using standalone PCs to accessing the Internet on them. It’s no surprise that mobility is causing yet another paradigm shift. However, it’s important to realize that there is a difference between “being mobile” and “going wireless”. Mobile computing relates to the ability to interact with the device from anywhere, whereas, wireless access defines the communications between computers or devices.
Though all of us are not too interested in the technologies that power our personal mobile devices, it is important to understand what will empower our devices in the future. It’s the only way to make educated guesses at what the future devices will be.
The main focus of advanced network services is in Japan and Korea. While most of the world is yet to see 3G devices, the Far East is buzzing with murmurs of 4G services. What lies in the near future for countries such as the US, the UK, and India is already old news in the east. While many enjoy streaming video services with advanced features and bandwidth of the Mbps variety, we in India are still languishing with WAP-enabled browsing and pathetically slow GPRS speeds. Will this change? Yes, we will get better services, but perhaps will never catch up with the crazy East.
Some technologies that have given us hope of the Utopian dream of ‘Seamless Mobility’.
WiMAX – Though far from being implemented in India. WiMAX does offer a chance of achieving a “connected” India. Since WiMAX is much superior to existing Wi-Fi technologies, and offer better speeds and an enhanced range, there is no doubting that it might be our only hope.
UMA – UMA stands for Unlicensed Mobile Access. No, it’s a phreaking technique, nothing illegal. UMA quite simply uses GSM and GPRS services over an unlicensed frequency spectrum such as Bluetooth or Wi-Fi. What this means is that using this technology, you could travel into an area without a standard GSM cell, and still stay connected to your network using the local ISP. Yes, you could actually switch over to a Wi-Fi Internet service provider as soon as you go out of range of your mobile service provider.
Some fantasies and possibilities of the mobile communications of the future:-
Real-time Communications – Merging content and communications means enhances business productivity and awesome social interaction. You initiate a Push to Video session with friends to discuss dinner plans that night. While they see a video of your talking, another friend pulls up the restaurant’s Web page and you each circle your favorite dishes – all of which everyone sees in real time.
Sensing and Control – Enough instructions already. Let’s give out “things” the means to talk, discover, monitor report and connect. As your plane lands on the runway, your name from the flight manifest is transmitted by the airline to your car rental company which finds the appropriate car for your specifications. By the time you arrive at the curb, your car is waiting with the trunk open and air conditioning on!
Session Continuity – We need universal accessibility of people, applications and network features so when we move out of one network’s range, our session is transparently linked to the next. You’re conducting a video conference on a multi-mode handset over EVDO, which delivers mobile broadband transmission speeds. When you arrive at your home office, the conference is automatically transferred to your WLAN. You choose if you want to move the video session to your digital TV of PC. Voila, it’s done!
Heterogeneous Networks – We don’t need to be the same. Seamless mobility means all types of content flowing across all types of networks. On the highway, your car communicates with other cars around it and the Department of Transportation to send and receive advance notice of traffic jams. No more excuses for being late to class.
Security – Growth of technology shouldn’t compromise our confidence in security. With seamless mobility, you’ll be able to go to a friend’s house, wave your phone by their set-top box and get access to your own premium movie channels by confidentially authenticating your identity and credit.
Manageability – Our devices and networks of the future will be one step ahead of us, sharing and managing information without us lifting a finger or saying a word. Next time your network router fails your system will automatically “self-heal” and you won’t even be aware that a potential problem occurred.
The futurists said that we’d have flying cars, a casino on the moon and robot boyfriends and girlfriends by now. But they are completely skipped over this whole seamless mobility, world-without-borders thing! Yes, the world is changing. It’s changing faster than you can even have a glimpse of the latest technology. Today’s inventions are outdone by tomorrows. Change is the byword in the field of phreakers. We as security experts of wireless communication can protect our own privacy. Come on, no one wants their private MMS’s streaming on raunchy web sites. (Coz everyone’s not Paris Hilton!!) The changes however are relative. Relative in the sense that you can come to terms with it and even outrun it but it will always catch up. If you didn’t get me, let me explain it this way. When you place your palm on the flame of a candle for one minute, it seems like an hour, but, sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems just like a minute. That’s relativity!
If you can imbibe in the change around you, I’ll say that you are ‘seamlessly mobile’!
The Heart Break Kid’s C I N D E R E L L A…
Posted by: sbiswas on: June 15, 2008
‘The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of it is having someone worth waiting for.’
It is a tiny engine, which you could effortlessly hold in the palm of your hand. Yet it is the seat of the greatest renewable, non-polluting energy in the world. That arousing force is love. And the engine that pumps it out, utterly to transform the world, is the human heart.
Love can move mountains, literally. Three hundred and fifty years ago it uprooted 12,192.56 tons of the purest of white marble from the deserts of Rajasthan, whisked it 160 km to Agra, and there turned it into an oeuvre in stone, 243 meters high. Not bad for a power source the size of your fist.
Shah Jehan’s love of his late consort cost the exchequer Rs 4, 18, 48, 426. Fortunately the sovereign did not have to seek fiscal sanctions from the ‘Planning Commissions’ or socialist cost accountants, building clearances from a tribe of babus, or fear that vengeful municipal bulldozers would annihilate his unauthorized structure to rubble. Fortunately, because if the emperor had had second thoughts, we wouldn’t have today what is indubitably the most recognizable, and most romanticized monument in the planet. An insignia not just for Brand India, but for that global MNC that modern advertising has turned into Love Inc.
In pecuniary terms alone, the Taj has vindicated its erection many thousands times over. Not just through tourist footfalls but also via ancillary industries like hotels, guides, miniature Taj souvenirs, and an perpetual sea of coffee table publications and honeymooners’ photographs set against the milieu of the melody in marble.
So has the Taj commercialized love? Or has love redeemed commercialization, through symbols like the Taj? Take diamonds. Compressed hydrocarbons indistinguishable to the human eye from bits of glass, they are prized for their rarity value which ornamented the power of their possessor. You had to be an empress who could dispossess the natives of your far-flung domains to get a Kohinoor. Then along came De Beers and any suitor who could afford the price could make his fiancée feel like a queen by the gift of ring studded with diamond, which was forever. So again. Did De Beers commercialize love? Or did love democratize diamonds?
Can’t afford diamonds? No problem. Give someone you love an Amul chocolate, as the ad says. Or flowers. Or a Valentine card. Or a Mother’s Day card, or a Teacher’s Day one. Or a copy of Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’, or Kalidasa’s ‘Shakuntala’. That’s the thing about love. It can be found everywhere, and in anything. From monuments to movies, literature to candy. Indeed, hadn’t it been for love there mightn’t have been any movies, or poetry, or music, or painting, or any of the countless things which enrich our lives every day, often without our even being consciously aware of it.
That’s all very fine. But there are many kinds of love, and not all of them lead to happily-ever-after endings. There is love of country, which some call patriotism, which leads to wars. Love of religion, which can lead to fanaticism and terrorism. Can you win over a Hitler – or an Osama – with a rose? Stop a nuclear missile with a limerick? No, you can’t. But ask the alternative questions. What is the better way of avoiding war? A hatred of war, or a love of peace? What is the best way to counter terrorism before it can take root: Counter-terror or the healing touch? Bigotry, intolerance, racism, oppression. What is the more effective, and long lasting, antidote to these evils? The counter-evils of hatred and violence? Or is there, can there be if only we’ll let it, something else? The more hatred and violence we unleash, thinking that this is the best way to protect ourselves, the more hatred and violence will be visited on us.
So what’s love got to do with anything related to The Heart Break Kid or Cinderella? Everything, actually.
Whenever we used to meet for those numerous secret rendezvous, sparks flew inadvertently. For some uncanny reason, those rosy vistas used to morph into grotesque nightmares! Be it her dad on Valentines’ Day or my dad on her birthday, when caught, we always proved to be horrible liars. Be it the grimy benches in her school or the squelchy grass growing in her backyard, we rarely used to talk when we met. Man, but we did talk! Two hours on an average per night is sort of okay for a couple in love.
When her phone used to stay switched off, I remember praying like a pujari to be able to talk to her. You know, I hate doing crank calls, but I couldn’t talk to her mom if she picked up the phone. I distinctly remember imitating Rajoo doodh-wallah and Lallan mistry.
Maybe its still early morning trying to decide what I’ll have for lunch. But I don’t want to take any half-measures. We know what’s in our hearts and minds. Don’t we? For the sake of love, the moments we spent discussing our future, the promises we made to each other, the number of SMS’s we shared and the way our hearts and minds got connected, let me tell you the biggest truth of my life.
I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!
Statutory Warning
The above documentary is the author’s figment of imagination. Any resemblance, whether living or dead, is purely co-incidental. The author takes no responsibility for broken hearts and tears shed. Remember, the author’s stories are not for the faint of hearts!
A Beautiful Mind
Posted by: sbiswas on: June 15, 2008
0. PROLOGUE
So what’s love got to do with anything related to The Heart Break Kid or Cinderella? Everything, actually.
Whenever we used to meet for those numerous secret rendezvous, sparks flew inadvertently. For some uncanny reason, those rosy vistas used to morph into grotesque nightmares! Be it her dad on Valentines’ Day or my dad on her birthday, when caught, we always proved to be horrible liars. Be it the grimy benches in her school or the squelchy grass growing in her backyard, we rarely used to talk when we met. Man, but we did talk! Two hours on an average per night is sort of okay for a couple in love.
When her phone used to stay switched off, I remember praying like a pujari to be able to talk to her. You know, I hate doing crank calls, but I couldn’t talk to her mom if she picked up the phone. I distinctly remember imitating Rajoo doodh-wallah and Lallan mistry.
Maybe its still early morning trying to decide what I’ll have for lunch. But I don’t want to take any half-measures. We know what’s in our hearts and minds. Don’t we? For the sake of love, the moments we spent discussing our future, the promises we made to each other, the number of SMS’s we shared and the way our hearts and minds got connected, let me tell you the biggest truth of my life.
I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!
- The Heart Break Kid’s Cinderella.
1. EXODUS
The cell hadn’t stopped buzzing since morning. And I was much goaded to find only ‘miss calls’ from a particular number. After it was too much, I decided to call back.
Naturally, my heart was praying for the voice at the other end to be that of a girl… And I was not overtly flabbergasted to find that my hunch had been correct!
”Hello, is this Aaryan?”
“No… Where have you called?”
“This is Kolkata…?”
“Wrong number!”
“Okay… Can we be friends…?”
Oh come on… Not again… The image of Tina—‘The girl with a soft voice and pumpkin like body’ flashed at the back of my mind. This must be someone from the girl’s hostel, I guessed. Half of me was saying to disconnect the call but I continued thinking that this could be fun…
“Ok… But I don’t even know you…Where are you now?”
“Durgapur.”
Ok… This is going somewhere, I thought.
“…In which college…?”
“Dr. B. C. Roy College of Engineering.”
By this time I was leaping up and down as I realized who was trying all these tricks to reach me. I decided to play on as if I was an idiot.
“Ok… I have an old friend in your college!”
“Who?”
“We both are from Dhanbad.”
I told her the name.
“O my God! I know her… She is my roommate!”
I started thinking about the nights we had spent talking under the stars…
“So… Do you want to talk to her?”
“Aw… She won’t talk to me… I think she is angry…”
I was playing all my cards safely. Never taking the chance if what I was thinking wasn’t correct.
“Don’t tell her about me… She might feel offended…”
“You care about her so much!!! She has to talk to you. I will ask her to…”
“Ok. Just don’t hurt her…”
Now this was overacting, I suppose, but it worked. They say that everything is fair in love and war. So this was all right, I suppose.
“Call back when I give a miss call.”
“Ok. Sure…”
I checked my prepaid balance.
8.00 INR.
I sprinted towards the superstore and shelled out two hundred bucks on top-ups.
As I was hiking down the hill, with a spring in my step and a shrill whistle emanating from my lips, the guard glaring at me for disturbing his siesta… my cell phone beeped!
“Hello…”
“Hey… She’s here… You talk to her…”
There was a racket and the resonance of a squabble. As if Cinderella didn’t want to talk to me…
“Hello.”
The voice was cold but still celestial… And my heart skipped a beat as my ears tried to adjust to the supersonic vibes that her sultry voice had produced… I fell in love with her once more…
“Hi… How are you?”
“I am fine…”
“Why didn’t you ever contact me after you came to college…? Do you hate me?”
“Yes… I hated you and so I didn’t want to talk to you… Had she not seen your number in my slam book and called you… We would not have been talking today…”
For the next hour as she poured out her heart and I my prepaid balance, we decided that it was high time that we became serious about our relationship. It was decided then that I would be changing my GSM service provider and switching over to her network, which would get me cheaper call tariffs and longer gossip epochs.
During lunch, I sent her a text message, which went as follows…
Zindagi guzar gayi ahista ahista.
Phir ye waqt bhi dagmagaya ahista ahista.
Tumne mujhe chaha kuch waqt tak, phir kya ye chahat bhi mit gayi ahista ahista?
Her reply was prompt and asked more questions than it gave answers.
Kya tumko aisa lagta hai?
2. EVOLUTION
The days went by and the nights started becoming sultrier, as the monsoon approached the hills. The wind was singing and the rain was pounding the streets without mercy as I walked past a deserted maal road. The librarian chased me out because of my sodden outfit and my squelchy shoes. He was always after me. Since the day he had discovered me chatting over my cell inside the library, he had developed a particular abhorrence towards me.
Everything seemed to fall in place. I was getting the right support in everything I was doing. I had to cut down on my other expenses (fancy caller tunes, laundry, canteen, etc.) to make ends meet and still be able to talk to her for hours. I felt that this was a sacrifice from my side and never did I complain for once… because I had her by my side… all the time…
I was so engrossed in talking to her and dreaming about her that I somehow forgot that there were other things in life. I had literally packed up my books as I figured our that since the engineering stuff was not too complex to worry about, scoring marks would not be a matter.
Pitapush and our own Night Queen always made it a point to discuss her when I was around. They were always of the impression that I had been tricked big time by her and that I was gravely mistaken in taking her too seriously. It had been months since Pitapush had first told me that Mortein was pulled by Cinderella towards her. She said that she had been the one doing the work of a middle man all the time.
I knew that neither Pitapush nor Ms. Girija had good impressions on our affair, so I decide that it was best for me to just ignore them. On the other side I was observing that Cinderella was slowly distancing herself from all the people who were against us, and so I was quite happy.
Then, one rainy night, as we were talking our hearts and minds out, we decided that it was enough… No one in this world could keep us apart. We exchanged vows to stay with each other till we had life in us. She then uttered those three magical words each of us want to hear one day…
“I love you…”
It changed my life. That was the day I really started believing in love.
She then asked me what I would have done had I been with her at that moment.
I replied, “I would have hugged you…”
“And I would have loved it…”
I will never be able to forget those words…
WOMEN…Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Posted by: sbiswas on: June 15, 2008
Endeavor to scrutinize any instance from the ancient times and you will find that anything that went wrong had in away been associated to a female. Not that ‘females’ are star-crossed. History has frequently proved that without women ‘a job done is better undone’! The root of our genesis is a woman, and so insulting them is like being discourteous to God.
Every successful man has a woman behind him. From time immemorial this avowal has been graced by orators, business magnates, politicians… What nobody thought was that if not for the woman that person could have been more successful! We tend to get so sanguine that we forget that a half filled glass can also be half empty. I have grown up around men who have forsaken their better halves because they found someone better. Some have lived with it throughout their lives. Some have died crying. This attitude of sacrificing their live for someone who has forsaken them has ultimately spoiled many other lives. Their children, the people who looked up to them as examples… We Indians want to evolve but still go by cursing widow remarriages.
Men are from Mars and women from Venus. Whatever people may say, I have experienced that, teenaged boys nowadays become more serious than girls. There are many instances, which better not see the light of the day. I have seen two girls brawl over one guy, for the gifts he gives to one of them. And if this couldn’t get any sillier! Two girls fight over old books in someone else’s house, break a glass case, and still indulge in one of the greatest mudslinging matches I have ever seen, won by none! That was Cracky and ‘the girl with a boyish nickname’.
Had Sunil Gavaskar’s mother stopped bowling to him when he had hit her nose with the cricket ball, maybe he would have cracked a few more centuries before retiring?? We can’t rewind history to know this, but surely there was a chance. There are hot blooded youngsters wanting to fight for their country on the border, only to be stopped by a mother or a sister. Love is just an excuse, but can you justify the countless mothers/sisters who lost their sons/brothers to the terrorist attacks on the 7/11. Yes had your son/brother been on the border, this could have been averted. No, you are not responsible for this. But your hands are soiled with the bloods of the hundreds who died a few days back in the Mumbai Serial Blasts. All of us are instilled with the acumen of becoming engineers and doctors. How many mothers have asked their sons to go fight for the country? Debacle creates an aftermath of ethical ambiguity. The preliminary alarm of revulsion gives way to an insidious sense of guilt. Of course, all of us genuinely grieve for the victims. But at the heart of that empathy there is a small but irrepressible inner voice which says: Thank God it wasn’t my son/brother. This is the remorse of the survivors, a poignant foreboding, as it is illogical. That those who have died have somehow died in our stead, by some enigmatic calculus of transience lost their lives so that we may live. Endurance is tinged with shame. That we the living have, after the fact, allowed others to die on our behalf, death by proxy. Guilt sharpens grief, gives it a serrated edge. If we recognize this remorse we jettison it as the specious spectre that is.
How many examples can history show us about the destructive capabilities of women? It was Draupadi in Mahabharata, Helen of Troy in the Trojan Wars… And the list seems endless. Some even say that Hitler killed millions of Jews because once a Jewish merchant had abused his mother. Yes, I too would have avenged her regard, but not by slivering off half of the Jewish population of the world. Draupadi’s attempted rape could have been averted had her husbands not pawned her in a rigged game of dice! Helen could have been brought back by peaceful processes. At least there should have been an attempt. Think of the millions killed in these long wars. Women are not responsible for mass destructions, they are mere reasons. Reasons powerful enough to revolutionize the world!
Today, I prophesize that the ‘Nuclear World War’ will be triggered off due to a woman. Watch this space for more updates!
The Fatal Attractions
Posted by: sbiswas on: June 15, 2008
He was impatiently waiting for his turn. The queue was long. At last, when his chance came a girl pushed him and took his place! The girl seemed arrogant so he just stood fuming. She turned around and he forgot about the painting. She was just about his age (19 days smaller to be precise) and was like a fairy to him. He was supposed to be unfazed by girlish attractions, but this girl had floored him. Love at first sight. I was six years old at that time.
She towered over him poking him in his chest.
“Who do you think you are? Schwarzenegger!”
I promised never to play with her again.
They were making mud cakes. The girl was creative. She decorated the mud with wild flowers and the boy gulped them down like it was a chocolate cake! My mother did not let me go out to play with her even after I recovered from my upset stomach.
They went out to pick unripe mangoes one summer morning and came back home late in the afternoon. His father reprimanded him for getting late and locked him out. She told him to stay with her, in her house ‘forever’ as his parents had turned him out. Always a gentleman, I declined politely. Crazy I…
The boy loved white roses. Whenever he gave the girl a white rose, it was instantly returned. His chocolates were returned. He loved the roses too much to throw them away. I still have those roses.
The boy went bonkers whenever he saw her. He tried to gain her attention by doing stunts. He always crashed resulting in a lot of guffaws among the opposite sex. She never laughed. I loved her for that.
He was a possessive lover. He hated it when any other guy talked with or about her. He picked many a fights for her. He hated her discussing about any other boy with him. Goodness gracious! I really was in love with the girl next door. Love thy Neighbor…
When he first came to know that she also liked him. He went blitzkrieg and gave her his first love rose. She gave it to the painter. I still haven’t forgiven that painter to have been born on that very day…
It was on New Year’s Eve that she gave him a present. I still have that greeting tucked away inside my chronicles.
It broke his heart to know that she would be going away. He cried like a child the day she left. He felt betrayed. My mother scolded me later for not being present at the time that her family left.
He didn’t have her snap. He didn’t need it. She haunted his thoughts more than he could envisage. To be blunt, I stopped watching dreams which didn’t have her.
At first, she sounded flabbergasted that he had remembered her birth day. She realized later that she had called him up nineteen days back to wish him. I still remember her maxim…” jyada acting karne ki koi jaroorat nahin hai…” I treasured her words.
It was the night of 31st of December ,2006, when he decided to tell her about his feelings:
The clock on the wall struck 12:00 and as the world around me went up in revelry, I grabbed my cell. BSNL was screaming ‘Bhai Saab Nahi Lagega’, Reliance was trying to act too SMART and Airtel was showing its empty balance. Frustrations mounted as the problems continued. The last resort… the landline!
At 12:25 the call went through and boy I was praying like anything for her mobile to stay switched on!
“Hello!”.
The same sultry voice!
“Hiya! Happy New Year…”.
“Same to you. Know I was thinking about you now. I was going to call you.”
Where do I start…
“See, I wanna tell you something…something important…”
“Yes!”
Help me Cupid!
“I love you!”
Silence! You wouldn’t even hear a pin dropping as the pressure mounted.
“!!@@##**#@*@*!*!! You f@**#*…
“I just want your approval!”.
“Sorry! I am not the one who decides this. I have my parents and my dad will shoot us if he gets to know this…”.
“This isn’t my decision! Please, don’t make me upset…”.
Huh! So early! Already decided!
“Okay! I’m sorry…”
The goddamn battery’s running out! Stupid cordless!
“Okay I’ll ring back later…”.
She’s isn’t interested…
“Bye.”
His heart was broken. ‘The Heart Break Kid’s’ heart was put in the mixer-grinder by a girl he had loved since she had braces in her teeth and had a flat chest.
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- akastar: the writers feelings are not the kind of love that i approve of. i alwayz thought love doesnt accuse, it rather endures. well, it might be different f
- akanksha: i dont really approve of the writer's love for the girl. i believe that love never accuses. it endures. but maybe its different for guys...
- surabhi: This piece is excellent maybe because this is not a fiction or drama but true feelings!! It clearly reflects your love, care and respect for your girl
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